Kakashi the Muffin Eating Pants Stealer
by Birdie Don't Eat That Muffin
Summary: Going on a mission with Team 7 a turn of events causes some strange stuff to go on. What's Kakashi up to now? SasuNaru. Lemon. boyxboy. yaoi


YAY! This is now my second fic. I'm currently working on my third one too. This story is insanely random. After I had written my fic I needed an idea so I asked my friend, Heather. She told me that she wanted me to write a fic where Kakashi steals muffins and pants, soooo this is what she got. Then she told me the only way I could use her idea was if I put her in it. Now if you read this then you should be able to understand why she's in it.

Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN NARUTO OR THE CHARACTERS!

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Kakashi The Muffin Eating Pants Stealer

"Damn mission." Thought Uchiha Sasuke as he fought off three ninjas with kunais. In a matter of seconds, Sasuke had knocked them all unconscious. The only thing they were supposed to do was retrieve a scroll and to arrive back to Konaha safely.

As Naruto fought off two other ninjas he gave a quick glance at his rival and best friend, Sasuke, whom was catching his breath after a short fight.

Kunai and shuriken flew through the air, Team7 fought off the rest of the ninjas. The four of them walked along silently, while Kakashi held on tight to the scroll that they needed to acquire. The team had made it back to the camp ground with only a few cuts and bruises. Kakashi left to find their food for their dinner; Sakura went into her tent to rest, while Sasuke and Naruto walked over to a small creek to wash away any blood.

Sasuke pulled off his shirt and pants, debating whether or not to go in with his boxers. He took them off and slowly walked into the cold water. Naruto quickly undressed, taking off his boxers as well, and jumped into the waist-deep water, letting the coldness of the water hit his tan skin, harshly. As he came up for air, he splashed around soaking Sasuke's duck-butt hair.

"Naruto! Stop fooling around! Let's just get cleaned off and help Kakashi find food. Knowing him he left to read Icha Icha Paradise again." At this Naruto nodded and washed away the blood on his arms and face. But they didn't notice that Kakashi wasn't reading or getting food for dinner, but he was hiding in a tree, watching them. When the two boys seemed distracted, he quietly jumped down and landed at the spot that Naruto and Sasuke had discarded their clothes. He grabbed all of their clothes and poofed away. He didn't notice something fall from his back pocket.

Ten Minutes Later

Sasuke and Naruto had finished scrubbing off all the blood and were about to get out when,

"WHERE THE FUCK ARE OUR CLOTHES!?!?" Naruto yelled. Sasuke looked back and saw that all their clothes had gone missing. It was then that he noticed a small book lying on the ground where he could have sworn they left their clothes.

"KAKASHI!!!!" Sasuke growled out.

They weren't able to get back until they got dressed, but since their clothes were taken, they couldn't. Unfortunately, they were starting to get cold as day turned to night, so they had not choice.

Back At The Camp Ground

Sakura had woken up to see that the camp was empty. She, too, had figured that Kakashi went to read Icha Icha Paradise. Although she also thought that Naruto and Sasuke were just sparring, she wondered why they hadn't returned. She wandered around until she came across the creek where Sasuke and Naruto had been bathing, but they were no longer in the water.

She saw that the two boys were now sitting along the shore in the nude and then fainted from loss of blood (major nosebleed). When the guys turned around at the sound of a thud, they saw Sakura lying in a heap a few feet. After they saw the thick line of blood dripping off her face and forming a puddle by her cheek, they broke into fits of laughter.

"Sasuke, what should we do with her?" Naruto questioned.

"Hn, I don't care. I think we should just leave her here." The bored Uchiha replied.

"Sasuke, you know we can't do that. She's part of our team." The blonde boy responded.

"Fine, besides, this means we can get back to camp and find Kakashi. He's gonna fucking DIE! Why the hell would he steal our clothes?" Sasuke complained.

"Ugh yeah, don't remind me. But at least when we get back we can put on new clothes." Naruto agreed.

Sasuke grabbed onto the wrists of the unconscious girl and started to drag her back to the camp. Naruto picked up her ankles to so that she wouldn't get dirty. Once they arrived back, they noticed that Kakashi wasn't there so they _threw_ Sakura back into her tent and went over to the tent that their perverted sensei made them share. The two boys grabbed themselves another set of clothes to wear. They dressed side-by-side in silence, unaware of the yells about one mile away from their campgrounds.

One Mile Away From Camp

"GOD DAMN YOU, KAKASHI!! COME BACK HERE WITH OUR MUFFINS!" Heather ran up to Kakashi, whom was trying to run away from the mob of people chasing after him, and jumped onto his back, pinning him down to the ground while the members of the Muffin Fan Club threw fish paste (1) at him. They tied him tightly to a tree and walked away carrying the muffins he had stolen from them.

Back At The Campground

"Okay he's not coming back, is he? We should go find food for our dinner. I don't think that Sakura's gonna wake up anytime so, we can just get food for the two of us. " Naruto stated.

"Later… I want to do something else first…" Sasuke replied while pushing Naruto back. Naruto fell onto the ground in their tent. Before he could even begin letting what was going on sink in, Sasuke was on top of him and whispered into Naruto's ear, "I think I understand why Kakashi took our clothes. He was…implying something…"

Naruto loved Sasuke and always had since their 'accidental' kiss back at the Academy. To him he felt as though he would have to keep that a secret until…now.

Sasuke had always had the feeling Naruto liked him more than a friend and much more than a rival. During that kiss at the Academy, Sasuke could have worn Naruto was trying to sneak his tongue into Sasuke's mouth. Although Sasuke believed that it was only his imagination, he never let go of the thought and now was the perfect opportunity to see whether or not it was true.

Sasuke slowly slipped his hand up Naruto's clean shirt and pinched his right nipple, twisting it between his thumb and index finger. When he heard Naruto moan out, he figured it was from pleasure and continued his ministrations. The raven-haired boy pulled Naruto's shirt roughly off and threw it behind him. He attached himself to the smaller boy's neck and began biting and sucking making a bunch of red marks. Once the small bruises had formed on Naruto's neck, Sasuke pulled up his head to look at the writhing boy underneath him.

"Sasuke - we can't. What if Sakura wakes up and hears us?" Naruto managed out.

"So, who cares? I'm only claiming what's mine… Besides I think that it's time for her to figure it out."

"Figure what out, Sasuke?" The blue-eyed boy asked innocently.

"That I'm in love with _you_." Sasuke answered honestly. Naruto's eyes widened at this until they were practically the size of soccer balls. The larger boy gave out a small inaudible laugh.

"Don't look so shocked dobe. I always have loved you and I always will, for-," But before Sasuke could finish, Naruto had grabbed onto Sasuke's soft black hair and smashed their lips together. Naruto pulled away and turned so his lips were gently touching Sasuke's ear and whispered, "I love you too, teme." Naruto gave a short laugh and pulled Sasuke into another loving kiss. It was then that both boys knew what they wanted.

Sasuke pulled off his own shirt along with his and Naruto's pants and threw them somewhere else in the tent. The larger boy started trailing wet kisses down the blue-eyed boy's stomach. His skillful tongue began tracing Naruto's seal around his belly button and dipped his wet muscle into the tiny hole, making Naruto arch at the touch as Sasuke began going lower until he got to the hem of his boxers.

In one swift move, he pulled them off and gazed at his prize. Naruto blushed at the look on Sasuke's face. Sasuke noticed this and smirked. They raven-haired boy started kissing Naruto and grinding their erections together even though Sasuke's was still covered by his own boxers. The small boy realized this and ripped them off roughly without breaking their passionate kiss.

"A little impatient aren't we?" Sasuke teased after breaking the kiss once more for air.

"Shut up Sasuke. I want you and I want you _now._" Naruto growled out. Sasuke complied by spreading apart Naruto's legs and wrapping one around his waist and the other over his shoulder. Sasuke then reached into his pants, which were sitting not too far away, and pulled out a bottle of lube.

"No, Sasuke. I want it rough. I have no patience for lube. I want you NOW!" Naruto stated. Sasuke nodded and placed the head of his cock at Naruto's entrance.

"Just get it over with Sasuke, I'm not gonna break like glass." The small boy complained. Sasuke slammed into the blonde boy all the way, making his shriek in pain with tears rolling down his face. Sasuke quickly kissed away the wet drops from Naruto's cheeks. He stared at the crying boy waiting for the signal to move before saying, "You see Naruto? We should have used lube. You ass is gonna hurt like hell tomorrow." Sasuke taunted.

"Yeah, well maybe you can kiss it and make it better. Now move!" Smirked Naruto.

"Don't worry dobe; I'll make sure to kiss it. Are you sure you want me to start moving so soon?" Sasuke asked.

"Yeah, I'll be fine, just go. I can't wait any longer." Naruto answered. Sasuke pulled out and pushed back in insanely hard.

"Arg… Naruto...You're so hot... Nng… tight…" Sasuke moaned out. He continued thrusting in and out ramming Naruto's prostate, making him see stars. He knew soon enough they would both cum, so to quicken it up, Sasuke gripped Naruto's neglected member, and began pumping it in time to his thrusts. They both came at the same time, Naruto onto Sasuke's hand and both their stomachs, and Sasuke inside of Naruto. The larger boy pulled out and lay down next to the panting blonde.

"Sasuke? What are we now? Friends? Lovers? Rivals? Friends with Benefits…?" He trailed off waiting for a response.

"Whatever you want us to be," Sasuke answered tiredly. He leaned in and kissed Naruto.

"I want us… to be lovers." Naruto decided

"Good, because that's what I wanted you to say. I love you, my little Naru-chan."

"Love, you too, Sasu-chan." And with that, they both drifted off to sleep.

10 Minutes Ago.

Sakura awoke to loud moans coming from the tent next to hers. She got out of the tent, not quite remembering what had happened before she fainted, two hours ago. Because she didn't want to go in and intrude, she watched the shadows on the sides of the tent. From her position, it looked like her two teammates were wrestling until she heard, "Nng, Sasuke, Harder! FASTER!" Again for the second time that day she got a major nosebleed and fainted.

Later That Night

Kakashi quietly snuck back into the campgrounds. He was able to escape from the ropes that tied him to the tree. He slowly crept toward the tent he made Sasuke and Naruto share. Kakashi cautiously opened the tent flap to find what he had expected, Sasuke and Naruto cuddled close together, completely naked. Sasuke's arm was wrapped protectively and possessively around Naruto's waist. The perverted teacher was right about their hidden feelings for each other so to move things along he had stolen their clothes, knowing one of them wouldn't have been able to hold back any longer. Now, for shits and giggles, and to annoy his now gay students, he grabbed all their clothes and hid them. Kakashi tiptoed back to his tent and fell asleep.

In The Morning

The next morning, Sasuke awoke to loud groans of pain next to him. Naruto couldn't sit up because his ass hurt so much from the previous night. Sasuke laughed and turned toward his lover, "Aw, come here and let me kiss it to make it better…"

After a second round, the two boys wanted to get dressed to find out that once more their clothes had gone missing. They groaned as they each pulled out their last set of clothes and threw them on. They went in search of food since they had never got any last night (due to other _fun_ activities), knowing that Kakashi was back again. But as they walked out of their tent, they found Sakura lying on the ground with a dried bloodstain coming from her nose, down her cheek.

Naruto began laughing as Sasuke picked up a large, pointy stick and started to poke her with it until she woke up. When her eyes began to flutter open, she saw her two teammates staring at her. In that instant, memories of yesterday began flooding her mind and she fainted once more. The two of them walked away laughing and as they did, Sasuke grabbed Naruto's hand and laced his fingers though his lover's.

One-Mile Away

"WHAT THE FUCK?!?! WHERE'D HE GO?" Heather screamed. "Ugh, CHARGE!" Heather sent her crazy Muffin Fan Club after Kakashi after they realized that he had escaped. The fan club ran into the forest trying to find the perverted muffin stealer.

YAY END!! R&R

1) In English Naruto's name means 'Fish Paste' it can also mean 'Fish Cake'

I need opinions to know whether or not I suck at fics!! I don't care if anyone flames me. I only want honest opinions. Every review will help me improve my next story.


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